When people find out I'm a writer, there are two major questions that always seem to crop up. They are "Why do you write?" and "Where do you find inspiration?" While these queries may seem cliche, no artist or writer or musician is going to honestly answer in the same way. So this seems like a good place to mark the true start of H&K Redux.
I write because I have stories to tell, and telling them brings me joy. I am not content to only consume the thoughts and dreams of others; the urge to create is too strong. Even my music, such as the yet unfinished "Ballad of Roger and Rose," tells stories. There are worlds within worlds inside and outside the universe proper. Why not explore them?
Like all storytellers, I am an inveterate liar. My recollection gains embroidery through the years, not because of malice (at least, no longer), but from the sheer joy of weaving a more interesting narrative. Our memories are the messiest of oral traditions and are wonderful because of, not in spite of, this casual inaccuracy. In truth, none of us are ever fully the hero, nor others villains. Yet who is not the hero of their own story? So I take this human impulse, the telling of tales, and formalize it.
Inspiration for these stories comes from everything. This not a cop out or deflection; it is the unvarnished truth. There are characters leaping out of the newspaper, hiding behind shady oaks, and screaming in your basement. Stories rest in every handshake, car ride, and commercial for weight loss pills. The writer's art is to distill this chaos into something real, something true, even if that something involves invisible weather gnomes wearing bowler hats.
So, faced by this bounty of inspiration, the question I wish more people would ask is "How do you manage to write day after day?" Thomas Edison had it right when he said, "Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration." The evidence of this small statement's truth is everywhere. How many talented baseball players fail because they are not willing to sacrifice everything in the pursuit of winning? How many world-class artists burn out after toiling endlessly in poverty and obscurity?
Writing is no different. Failure is the neighbor who tap-dances on your ceiling at night and mangles his ukulele at your moment of greatest calm. Words, sentences, and paragraphs stubbornly refuse to work; they howl and flail like rabid donkeys as you desperately traverse a rope bridge over a bottomless ravine. And as rejections make not-so small piles on your desk, the tap-dancing grows infinitesimally louder.
The answer is simple albeit a bit recursive. Writing is the cure to its own suffering. There are moments in every day when despair seeps into my fingers and my eyes lose focus. A bit of dialogue limps to a comma and tries to commit hara-kiri. But before I hurl my keyboard away in disgust, a small voice calls my name.
The goblin prince strides onto the screen and points up. To the sky, he commands. We must see the stars! My eyes sharpen and fingers dance. Pull yourself together, I tell the dialogue. There is no time to waste! There are worlds to discover and never enough moments to explore them!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
Hummus and Kimchi Rebooted
It is with great excitement that I welcome you to the new Hummus and Kimchi! The site has undergone significant changes so please excuse (and let me know about) any problems you encounter.
While H&K started out as a record of my time in Israel, its focus has changed to my fiction writing. But do not fear! There will still be posts concerning personal and world events although they will be fewer and farther between.
Here's the upside: H&K will give you access to my thoughts as each piece progresses from idea to draft to final product, along with H&K exclusive short works. You will find concept art, sample pages, and much more as my various projects proceed. Writing is a journey through the woods, and I will be happy for the company.
So come; let us wander among these trees together, and see what wonders they hold!
While H&K started out as a record of my time in Israel, its focus has changed to my fiction writing. But do not fear! There will still be posts concerning personal and world events although they will be fewer and farther between.
Here's the upside: H&K will give you access to my thoughts as each piece progresses from idea to draft to final product, along with H&K exclusive short works. You will find concept art, sample pages, and much more as my various projects proceed. Writing is a journey through the woods, and I will be happy for the company.
So come; let us wander among these trees together, and see what wonders they hold!
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Gilad Shalit
I have avoided writing about Gilad Shalit for some time, mostly because my thoughts about his situation are jumbled. However, thanks to the urging and support of some friends, here are these thoughts in all their gory glory.
Before we get started, a little background information. Gilad Shalit is an Israeli soldier who was captured on June 25, 2006 on Israeli soil and has been held in Gaza by Hamas since then. He was 20 years old upon his capture and is now 23.
Hamas has not allowed international aid groups to visit him although they did release a video of Shalit this October in exchange for 20 female Palestinian detainees. Recent negotiations may result in the release of as many as 1,000 Palestinian detainees in exchange for Shalit's release.
The internal Israeli debate over the merits of the potential exchange is intense and incredibly emotional. This is one aspect of the conflict that is, in my opinion, not fully understood in the US. Then again, I am not sure it is possible for Americans to truly understand the emotional complexity of these issues since we lack direct experience.
For example, the US has a firm policy regarding terrorism; we do not negotiate with terrorists. Every American knows this if only from movies and TV shows. In a vacuum, this is the optimal policy. As one can see, paying ransoms, whether in the form of prisoners or money, simply begets more kidnapping. However, American military service is not analogous to Israeli military service because the US has a volunteer army and Israel does not.
The moral and morale calculus radically shifts when a nation's soldiers are not volunteers. American soldiers all signed up for service knowing that the US would not negotiate with, say, al Qaeda for their release if they were captured. However, Israeli soldiers are drafted. There are real, tangible negative consequences if one refuses military service and, consequently, benefits if one does serve.
There are good reasons why Israel chooses to use the coercive power of the state to push people toward military service. But the fact remains that coercion is necessary. The state has, by extension, greater responsibility to ensure their safety.
Everyone in Israel agrees that Gilad Shalit must return home. The argument is about the cost. Hundreds of the 1,000 Palestinian detainees named in the exchange already have Israeli blood on their hands. They have directly participated in killing Israelis either through planning or violent action. Thus, some have concluded that the release of such people would only lead to the death and/or capture of even more Israelis, making the entire exchange a colossal risk with no upside and a huge downside. In their eyes, the cost is too great.
But Gilad Shalit is more than a single Israeli soldier. He is not merely the son of Mr. and Mrs. Shalit. He is, in a way, everyone's son. All Israeli parents know that he could be their child. And if you were Gilad Shalit's parents, wouldn't you give up anything to get him back?
In purely pragmatic terms, it may also be important to troop morale for the IDF to secure Shalit's freedom. There are many Israeli soldiers who serve out of a sense of duty or obligation and nothing more. If given a choice, they certainly would not be soldiers. In exchange for this service, the IDF promises that it will do anything possible to make sure no soldier is left behind.
If the IDF reneges on this promise, then morale may be compromised. Non-service, already a problem, may increase. So to prevent further erosion of popular support and troop morale, any price is worth paying.
To be honest, I did not understand the visceral nature of this dilemma until very recently. It seemed like a fairly obvious decision from my detached American point of view. No negotiating with terrorists, period, end of story. 1,000 detainees for one guy? Um, are you kidding?
But as I heard Israelis debate the issue, my certainty gave way to doubt and, as I write, a sense of tearing, of being torn in two directions. It is not necessarily a separation of heart and mind. My mind and heart are truthfully divided neatly in two, with half of my heart siding with one side of my mind against the other halves. Do you let a young man go through a certain future of captivity and pain, or do you potentially condemn others to die in his place?
In some situations, distance gives perspective. But such decisions are not made by objective observers, blessed with emotional distance. They are made by those in the swirl, buffeted by tides of pain and passion and fear and love. It is so easy for those with little lose to give sage advice preaching patience and fortitude and calm resolve, to warn against giving in to anger. But it is far harder to follow that path when it is you who could lose everything.
This is why I have avoided writing about Gilad Shalit. My thoughts are drowned out by my frustration. Frustration that we live in a world where such choices must be made. Frustration that so few outside of Israel understand how difficult these decisions truly are. Frustration that I can be nothing more than frustrated.
So there you go. I hope this sparks some conversation in the United States and perhaps, help some of you understand this situation a little better.
Before we get started, a little background information. Gilad Shalit is an Israeli soldier who was captured on June 25, 2006 on Israeli soil and has been held in Gaza by Hamas since then. He was 20 years old upon his capture and is now 23.
Hamas has not allowed international aid groups to visit him although they did release a video of Shalit this October in exchange for 20 female Palestinian detainees. Recent negotiations may result in the release of as many as 1,000 Palestinian detainees in exchange for Shalit's release.
The internal Israeli debate over the merits of the potential exchange is intense and incredibly emotional. This is one aspect of the conflict that is, in my opinion, not fully understood in the US. Then again, I am not sure it is possible for Americans to truly understand the emotional complexity of these issues since we lack direct experience.
For example, the US has a firm policy regarding terrorism; we do not negotiate with terrorists. Every American knows this if only from movies and TV shows. In a vacuum, this is the optimal policy. As one can see, paying ransoms, whether in the form of prisoners or money, simply begets more kidnapping. However, American military service is not analogous to Israeli military service because the US has a volunteer army and Israel does not.
The moral and morale calculus radically shifts when a nation's soldiers are not volunteers. American soldiers all signed up for service knowing that the US would not negotiate with, say, al Qaeda for their release if they were captured. However, Israeli soldiers are drafted. There are real, tangible negative consequences if one refuses military service and, consequently, benefits if one does serve.
There are good reasons why Israel chooses to use the coercive power of the state to push people toward military service. But the fact remains that coercion is necessary. The state has, by extension, greater responsibility to ensure their safety.
Everyone in Israel agrees that Gilad Shalit must return home. The argument is about the cost. Hundreds of the 1,000 Palestinian detainees named in the exchange already have Israeli blood on their hands. They have directly participated in killing Israelis either through planning or violent action. Thus, some have concluded that the release of such people would only lead to the death and/or capture of even more Israelis, making the entire exchange a colossal risk with no upside and a huge downside. In their eyes, the cost is too great.
But Gilad Shalit is more than a single Israeli soldier. He is not merely the son of Mr. and Mrs. Shalit. He is, in a way, everyone's son. All Israeli parents know that he could be their child. And if you were Gilad Shalit's parents, wouldn't you give up anything to get him back?
In purely pragmatic terms, it may also be important to troop morale for the IDF to secure Shalit's freedom. There are many Israeli soldiers who serve out of a sense of duty or obligation and nothing more. If given a choice, they certainly would not be soldiers. In exchange for this service, the IDF promises that it will do anything possible to make sure no soldier is left behind.
If the IDF reneges on this promise, then morale may be compromised. Non-service, already a problem, may increase. So to prevent further erosion of popular support and troop morale, any price is worth paying.
To be honest, I did not understand the visceral nature of this dilemma until very recently. It seemed like a fairly obvious decision from my detached American point of view. No negotiating with terrorists, period, end of story. 1,000 detainees for one guy? Um, are you kidding?
But as I heard Israelis debate the issue, my certainty gave way to doubt and, as I write, a sense of tearing, of being torn in two directions. It is not necessarily a separation of heart and mind. My mind and heart are truthfully divided neatly in two, with half of my heart siding with one side of my mind against the other halves. Do you let a young man go through a certain future of captivity and pain, or do you potentially condemn others to die in his place?
In some situations, distance gives perspective. But such decisions are not made by objective observers, blessed with emotional distance. They are made by those in the swirl, buffeted by tides of pain and passion and fear and love. It is so easy for those with little lose to give sage advice preaching patience and fortitude and calm resolve, to warn against giving in to anger. But it is far harder to follow that path when it is you who could lose everything.
This is why I have avoided writing about Gilad Shalit. My thoughts are drowned out by my frustration. Frustration that we live in a world where such choices must be made. Frustration that so few outside of Israel understand how difficult these decisions truly are. Frustration that I can be nothing more than frustrated.
So there you go. I hope this sparks some conversation in the United States and perhaps, help some of you understand this situation a little better.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Magic: The Gathering, Baseball, and the Dynamics of the Arab-Israeli Conflict
One of my passions is gaming, a hobby that is useless at first glance. But as I've gotten older (and perhaps more delusional), some of the ideas found within games apply to greater issues. This particular post is going to deal with a couple truisms, the first oft-repeated in Magic: The Gathering circles. It goes like this: "There are no wrong threats, only wrong answers."
For those who don't know what Magic: The Gathering is, it is a collectible card game (CCG) in which two or more players are magicians fighting for dominance. They use decks of spells to fight each other, with the goal of either exhausting the other player's deck completely or, more commonly, reducing the opponent's life total to zero.
There are many ways to achieve this goal, but only two apply to the Arab-Israeli conflict. The first is an aggressive strategy, where a player normally uses cheap spells to overwhelm the opponent's defenses and win before slower decks can establish dominance. The second is a control strategy, where a player tries to answer the opponent's early threats to get to the late game, when the control player normally has a few powerful but expensive spells that end the game.
Right now, I would classify Israel as the control player and the Arab actors as the aggressive player. Israel is a nation-state that has been fighting for its existence since its inception. Its stance is overwhelming defensive; Israel tries to identify threats and neutralize them while essentially eschewing truly aggressive strategies.
The Arab actors thrust themselves into the aggressive role with the invasion of Israel in 1947 and have continued to present new threats. These threats ranged from the conventional (1967 War) to the unconventional (suicide bombings). Most recently, they have launched public relations salvos aimed to erode Israel's standing in the world community and thus, the legitimacy of its ability to bring military force to bear.
Israel has, to this point, found the right answers to the existential threats presented. The IDF is one of the strongest, most resilient fighting forces in the world and has delivered a string of decisive military victories against superior forces.
However, to bring in another of my favorite sayings, this time from baseball, "Past performance is no guarantee of future success." The IDF is fantastically well-equipped to deal with conventional military conflicts. On the way back from a trip to the north this week, we drove by a tank exercise. Dozens of tanks stood in formation on a field. It was an intimidating sight and not something any conventional army would want to see across the battlefield.
But this only highlights that the threat profile has changed and formerly effective answers may no longer be relevant. Few, if any, of the battles Israel will face in the next ten years will take place on an open field. Tanks, while wonderful blunt force instruments, are little use in urban settings where civilian casualties must be minimized. Those tanks may serve as a deterrent to aggression by Israel's neighbors but do little to stop rocket fire coming from Gaza.
If this were a game of Magic: The Gathering, Israel would have already won. They found the answers to their opponents' early threats, established a dominant position, and have the overwhelming force necessary to destroy their opposition (for the Magic players out there, a few quick swings by a Morphling or Baneslayer Angel would be an appropriate analogue). If this were a baseball game, it would 25-0 and the fans would already be heading for the exits.
But this isn't a game where the goal is to kill your enemy at all costs, morality and consequences be damned, or one that ends after a set number of innings. Israel cannot, for a variety of good reasons, commit genocide to ensure its safety, nor can it simply hold on until it gets 27 outs. Instead, Israel must try to maintain its position while dealing with the new threats its opponent poses. Israel spends a huge amount of human and economic capital on maintaining control, costs that take their toll on Israeli society. Yet these costs must be paid because the next threat, the one they cannot answer, may destroy everything for which they have worked.
By comparison, organizations like Hamas have little to lose. If one threat fails, they find another. And if that fails, well, they just keep plugging away. All of these threats are relatively cheap and force their opponent to spend a large amount of resources to find solutions. One example I mentioned in a previous post is the Qassam rocket fire aimed at Sderot. Each Qassam is easy to make, sometimes composed from aid materials and thus incredibly cheap, and capable of inflicting fear and death. To deal with this persistent threat, Israel has spent hundreds of millions of dollars on bomb shelters while incurring economic losses due to mental health issues and infrastructure damage, to name a few.
I do admit that I find Israeli paranoia problematic, especially since it complicates the peace process and leads to the occasional police harassment I have encountered. However, this paranoia stems, in part, from a gut understanding of two old truisms: There are no wrong threats, only wrong answers, and past performance is no guarantee of future success. Just because Israel has always found the answers before does not mean they will always do so in the future. And one stumble could lead to the end.
Or, to stretch my metaphors to the absolute edge of breaking, they are stuck in a baseball game that does not end until both teams decide to call it a day. And we all know how that turns out.
For those who don't know what Magic: The Gathering is, it is a collectible card game (CCG) in which two or more players are magicians fighting for dominance. They use decks of spells to fight each other, with the goal of either exhausting the other player's deck completely or, more commonly, reducing the opponent's life total to zero.
There are many ways to achieve this goal, but only two apply to the Arab-Israeli conflict. The first is an aggressive strategy, where a player normally uses cheap spells to overwhelm the opponent's defenses and win before slower decks can establish dominance. The second is a control strategy, where a player tries to answer the opponent's early threats to get to the late game, when the control player normally has a few powerful but expensive spells that end the game.
Right now, I would classify Israel as the control player and the Arab actors as the aggressive player. Israel is a nation-state that has been fighting for its existence since its inception. Its stance is overwhelming defensive; Israel tries to identify threats and neutralize them while essentially eschewing truly aggressive strategies.
The Arab actors thrust themselves into the aggressive role with the invasion of Israel in 1947 and have continued to present new threats. These threats ranged from the conventional (1967 War) to the unconventional (suicide bombings). Most recently, they have launched public relations salvos aimed to erode Israel's standing in the world community and thus, the legitimacy of its ability to bring military force to bear.
Israel has, to this point, found the right answers to the existential threats presented. The IDF is one of the strongest, most resilient fighting forces in the world and has delivered a string of decisive military victories against superior forces.
However, to bring in another of my favorite sayings, this time from baseball, "Past performance is no guarantee of future success." The IDF is fantastically well-equipped to deal with conventional military conflicts. On the way back from a trip to the north this week, we drove by a tank exercise. Dozens of tanks stood in formation on a field. It was an intimidating sight and not something any conventional army would want to see across the battlefield.
But this only highlights that the threat profile has changed and formerly effective answers may no longer be relevant. Few, if any, of the battles Israel will face in the next ten years will take place on an open field. Tanks, while wonderful blunt force instruments, are little use in urban settings where civilian casualties must be minimized. Those tanks may serve as a deterrent to aggression by Israel's neighbors but do little to stop rocket fire coming from Gaza.
If this were a game of Magic: The Gathering, Israel would have already won. They found the answers to their opponents' early threats, established a dominant position, and have the overwhelming force necessary to destroy their opposition (for the Magic players out there, a few quick swings by a Morphling or Baneslayer Angel would be an appropriate analogue). If this were a baseball game, it would 25-0 and the fans would already be heading for the exits.
But this isn't a game where the goal is to kill your enemy at all costs, morality and consequences be damned, or one that ends after a set number of innings. Israel cannot, for a variety of good reasons, commit genocide to ensure its safety, nor can it simply hold on until it gets 27 outs. Instead, Israel must try to maintain its position while dealing with the new threats its opponent poses. Israel spends a huge amount of human and economic capital on maintaining control, costs that take their toll on Israeli society. Yet these costs must be paid because the next threat, the one they cannot answer, may destroy everything for which they have worked.
By comparison, organizations like Hamas have little to lose. If one threat fails, they find another. And if that fails, well, they just keep plugging away. All of these threats are relatively cheap and force their opponent to spend a large amount of resources to find solutions. One example I mentioned in a previous post is the Qassam rocket fire aimed at Sderot. Each Qassam is easy to make, sometimes composed from aid materials and thus incredibly cheap, and capable of inflicting fear and death. To deal with this persistent threat, Israel has spent hundreds of millions of dollars on bomb shelters while incurring economic losses due to mental health issues and infrastructure damage, to name a few.
I do admit that I find Israeli paranoia problematic, especially since it complicates the peace process and leads to the occasional police harassment I have encountered. However, this paranoia stems, in part, from a gut understanding of two old truisms: There are no wrong threats, only wrong answers, and past performance is no guarantee of future success. Just because Israel has always found the answers before does not mean they will always do so in the future. And one stumble could lead to the end.
Or, to stretch my metaphors to the absolute edge of breaking, they are stuck in a baseball game that does not end until both teams decide to call it a day. And we all know how that turns out.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Hiking in Ein Gedi
Last Shabbat was the best two days I've had in Israel so far. Shira, Anna, Ross, and I took a hiking trip to Ein Gedi or the area just west of the Dead Sea. We left Friday morning, hopped on a bus, and arrived in the middle of the desert. We had a vague idea of what we wanted to do but like all trips, things changed once we got there. Our original plan of camping in the mountains was impossible due to the winter's early nightfall and our inability to read (or desire to pay for) a topographical. So we decided to hike to the Hidden Spring and sleep on a beach on the shores of the Dead Sea.
On our way to the first hike, we ran across an abandoned building. It looked like a ruined school but now was the home to a group of hyrax. I had never seen a hyrax before; apparently, they are related to elephants and manatees, and do a lot of eating and pooping.
Bellies full, we started on our hike. Pictures describe the hike better than I can with words, so thanks to Shira for these wonderful pictures!
The next morning, we rose at sunrise and hiked to Ein Gedi Spring, which is mentioned in the Bible. Along the way, we saw a group of ibex munching on a tree. It was only upon closer inspection that we noticed that some of the ibex were actually climbing in the tree to get to the good leaves. They are more graceful than they look!
It was incredibly hot and the hike was uphill (only one way, thankfully). But it was worth it once we got to the top and saw a tranquil pool shaded by an old tree. It was a welcome sight for us and we had only been hiking for a short time. I'm sure that there is some untold story in which a traveler dying of thirst stumbled across this spring and discovered the true meaning of joy. We got only a small approximation but even that small amount was lovely.
Thanks to Shabbat, no buses were running for hours. Fortunately, we managed to catch a cab back to Jerusalem and ate a huge dinner that night (goose breast kabobs are awesome!).
But lest things in Israel seem too calm, the IDF bombed Gaza later that evening. Oh well...
On our way to the first hike, we ran across an abandoned building. It looked like a ruined school but now was the home to a group of hyrax. I had never seen a hyrax before; apparently, they are related to elephants and manatees, and do a lot of eating and pooping.
Then, before starting our hike, we ate a snack.
Our day ended with a calm evening on the shore of the Dead Sea. Night came around 5:30 PM, so we relaxed a little in the darkness and then took a well deserved rest (although Ross spent some time listening to the dulcet tones of techno playing from a neighboring group of campers).
The next morning, we rose at sunrise and hiked to Ein Gedi Spring, which is mentioned in the Bible. Along the way, we saw a group of ibex munching on a tree. It was only upon closer inspection that we noticed that some of the ibex were actually climbing in the tree to get to the good leaves. They are more graceful than they look!
It was incredibly hot and the hike was uphill (only one way, thankfully). But it was worth it once we got to the top and saw a tranquil pool shaded by an old tree. It was a welcome sight for us and we had only been hiking for a short time. I'm sure that there is some untold story in which a traveler dying of thirst stumbled across this spring and discovered the true meaning of joy. We got only a small approximation but even that small amount was lovely.
Thanks to Shabbat, no buses were running for hours. Fortunately, we managed to catch a cab back to Jerusalem and ate a huge dinner that night (goose breast kabobs are awesome!).
But lest things in Israel seem too calm, the IDF bombed Gaza later that evening. Oh well...
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